Saturday, December 23, 2006

The Device

The Device has created a mysterious excitement equal to that of Geraldo entering King Tut's tomb. But unlike Tut's tomb, The Device actually does contain valuable treasures. Join us as we unlock the mysteries of... The Device.

Background and History
Obnoxiously long lines at the few parking lot porta-potties was detracting from precious tailgating time. Something had to be done. Since we are not from Pittsburgh, whipping it out and going next to the car was not an option. It became apparent we would have to bring our own cost-effective, somewhat sanitary means of discarding our used-up cerveza y tequila. The Device was born. Early forms of The Device would use a tarp as oppossed to a tent which is now the current method of providing privacy while taking care of business.

The Basics
The device consists of:
A jug



A funnel



A tent


It should be noted that The Device is female friendly.



Preparation
Special care must be taken to ensure The Device will provide a pleasurable experience for all those who use it. The first person to 'break the seal' must prep The Device. This person is always Dan.

Step 2: Get the bag with the deodorizer. The deodorizer may be a liquid or solid. (Note that Step 1 will be presented later.)



Step 3: Open the lid to the deodorizer



Step 4: Drop a splash of deodorizer into the jug



Step 1: Put on some gloves. The deodorizer can be a little messy and cause perma-blue hands.



Normal Operation
There's not much to it. Upon entering the tent, remove the lid from the jug, insert the funnel, and go about your business. Note that there is no #2 in The Device. When complete, remove the funnel, seal up the jug, and exit the tent. The seat can only be left up if there is someone in line behind you.
Fully assembled, The Device will look somewhat like this:




That's about it. You can now enjoy the freedom of going whenever you want.